To Be Immortalized
by story in reverse
Summary: What makes Ryuichi unreachable? What drives him to become... immortalized?


  
Disclaimer: *wails* I don't own them. But... if I did, there'd be a clips of the Remixes at the end of each episode! .  
  
Notes: Don't take my interperation seriously, it's my way of thinking. I don't want Shuichi fangirls killing me and screaming. -_-; I doubt I could fight them off. I like this anime enough to write about it, but will I be killed by it? X_X  
  
This takes place in episode thirteen before and after Shuichi encounters Ryuichi in the room. So what if this is inaccurate? >.  
  
//What makes Ryuichi unreachable? What drives him to become... immortalized?//  
  
  


**To be Immortalized**  
Written by Ayako  


  
/"Tell us Sakuma-san, what is the secret of your success?"/  
  
I listen to the song, not for it's lyrics, but for the passion that was in them. They weren't reaching. I doubt they ever would.  
  
I don't smile in encouragement, but rather in hopes that you would learn what it meant to truly love your music, to be devoted to it.  
  
/It wasn't a secret. At least, not to me. I just laughed in good humor, "I can't tell you."/  
  
Not only did you lose your lover, but you had lost your voice. If you had lost one rather than another, preferably just your lover, it would've been grand.  
  
Why?  
  
You can't love two things equally.  
  
/"Why is it Sakuma-san?" the reporter had asked, confused.  
  
So I took out Kumagorou and spoke in falsetto. "It's a secret, na no da!"/  
  
I heard it the previous time you performed. How you had said it during your song, how you yelled it out at the ending.  
  
That you loved your music like you loved him.  
  
You said he was yours.  
  
Using your energy in two separate fields is exhausting and impossible. You spread an equal amount of in both directions; you tried to spread your love to him and to your audience.  
  
They never seem to notice, but they do.  
  
I suppose that's why they call me God like.  
  
I love my music, I adore it.  
  
If I had to choose between a lover and music, I'd choose music. In a way, it is my lover.  
  
And you, Shuichi, if you had the chance to choose. What would you do? Who, what, would you choose?  
  
I saw you trying before that unfortunate loss of your voice. You had tried to love only your music, to be only devoted to that. But I could feel it... You were miserable, you had already decided you loved him and could never perform to your own expectations without having both.  
  
Does that make you selfish?  
  
/"But ... nevertheless...I wouldn't trade the world for my music."/  
  
As close as I am to everyone else, I'm so far away.  
  
I can't let anyone touch me to that extent.  
  
If they did, the person I am today would vanish into dust and be forgotten.  
  
Noriko and Touma are devoted to other things now. Noriko has her family while Touma had the company and matters to pursue.  
  
I just kept going, I didn't want to be forgotten.  
  
Bands fade away as do solo acts... They were once loved and then hated... Thought old compared to the new. That was what lead to the breakup of Nittle Grasper. We were scared of the power we had, scared that eventually people would overcome it. I was the only one that didn't want to let it go.  
  
I had no where else to go, no one else to go home to.  
  
Eventually, that was what brought me power. That was my 'secret of success'. I poured my heart and soul into the music, I let out everything. It was my passion, my life, and what drove me to continue.  
  
But I missed working with everyone. We truly shone when we were together. And I didn't love them anymore than friends, so I stayed strong.  
  
I'm singing now, stalling for Shuichi, letting myself flow into the movements that my body was made for. The fans wanted more and I gave it to them. But they were waiting for Bad Luck, overwhelmed by their young and fresh act that was starting to seem less and less like ours.  
  
"It's your turn to shine, Shuichi."  
  
Those would be my last words of encouragement. We'll be friends, but now we're rivals. But he would never understand how much grueling work he's going to have to do in order to reach us.  
  
In life, certain types of love can only take you so far.  
  
With Kumagorou on my shoulder, I smirk at the display of lights.  
  
Look out world, Nittle Grasper will be immortalized.  
  
That way, we'll never be forgotten.  
  
-OWARI-  
  
*dodges the deadly spoons and forks* YOU'LL SEE IT MY WAY! RYUICHI'S EVIL BEHIND THAT CUTENESS!  
  
  



End file.
